Last week we talked about how a big invisible ego is often the fuel that sets fire to our anxiety, and many of you had questions, which you can read more about here.
On my journey recovering from social anxiety I accidentally created what some would call an âalter egoâ to help myself in difficult situations and to grow long-term.
One of the biggest problems with growth, in general, is your ego. It stops you from truly developing and growing into the person you know you could be.
In this method, what weâre doing is fighting the ego with an alter-ego.
By creating a concept which many call the alternate-ego.
The most well-known case of this is Batman & Bruce Wayne. Believe it or not, theyâve even done studies to measure how effective an alter-ego is and have shown increased concentration, decreased stress, and improvement of executive function.
We will cover how you can create your own version of this and begin to utilize this method to start to become and act in accordance with who you really areâŠ
PS. Before we get started Iâm running another group cohort for anxiety coaching group over the course of 9 weeks. Spots are limited and early bird pricing ends next week: learn more.
My Alter-Ego Story
In 2017 I started a podcast called Humans 2.0 based on the idea we can all evolve.
I saw how I had improved and changed who I was and thought it was similar to completely upgrading to new software from version 1.0 to version 2.0!
Little did I know, this set the stage for my psychological growth.
Every moment where I was nervous or was trying to do something hard or unfamiliar and doubted myself, questioned my abilities, and didnât believe in me, and moreâŠ
In my mind, I would start thinking of Human v2.0 of who I could be. Not a fake character fantasizing of who I want to be, but the choice I could make now to become a Human version 2.0 in the moment.
Why Does the Alter-Ego Work?
Because it allows both sides of you to exist harmoniously. While in real-time providing you with a clear choice to be, to act, to exist in a different way.
To be clear, this is NOT faking an identity or pretending to be someone else.
Who you are today, is the sum of all decisions and choices you have made throughout your life. Sometimes, itâs easy to be stuck making the same decisions and choices, which prevent us from growing into who we really are...
Your alter-ego enables you to make different decisions, you should be making, but donât due to anxiety, your ego, your past decisions, hesitations, unfamiliarity, etc.
For the sake of this example:
Ego 1: Mark v1.0 - socially anxious, lazy, distracted, etc.
Ego 2: Mark v2.0 - cares more about authenticity & using my voice than social anxiety, cares more about putting in the effort to get results than a moment of comfort, understands learning how to be focused is better than a distraction.
Alter-Ego is the Key to New Behavior
Most often we are stuck in Ego 1 - aka the human default mode.
Now, given the fact youâre reading this article, you're probably trying to do new behaviors and actions but thereâs a part of you that says this is weird, uncomfortable, different, unfamiliar, and wants to revert back to normal.
Ex. Instead of deciding to go to the gym the night before, and waking up the next day, and saying oh âI donât feel like goingâ which is Ego 1.
Accept the fact Ego 1 is activated, and instead choose to think of the {Your Name} v2.0 instead. The version of you that values long-term growth. The version of you that wants to be healthier. The version of you that wants to be and feel better.
What results is an acceptance of where you are at now (v1.0), and a bigger goal and future you are striving towards (v2.0). This is what we call growth.
This helps provide some assurance and acceptance, while also giving you the new choice to step outside of yourself and aim to be someone better by changing how you think, to enable a new lifestyle and way of being.
Your alter-ego doesnât have to be active at all times. Just in the times where you want to shift your behavior and step outside of your own stuck identity and make a new decision you donât feel like...
For Example:
Whenever Iâm having a deep conversation with someone, letâs say over dinner.
In my mind, thereâs Mark v1.0 who wants to be shy and wants to hide and say the least amount of stuff possible just to try and slide by and make it easier.
However, thereâs also a Mark v2.0 who realizes, wait if this is the last conversation I ever have, donât I want to make sure I express myself for who I really am? Donât I want to show my true colors? Donât I want to make the best impact I possibly could?
Once I realize this duality, I also realize the choice I can make, and I start to slowly step by step make those v2.0 decisions until I do this long enough and I become Mark Metry v2.0!
This leads me to my next pointâŠ
Alter-Ego is the Stepping Stone to Becoming You
You can debate saying social anxiety is an alter-ego on its own.
Itâs an ego where all of a sudden it robs you of who you are and gets you to stop talking, and be nervous, and makes your mind go blank, and sweat, etc.
Many people who experience social anxiety and try to break free from it often report they feel like just faking a different character. This is not what weâre talking about.
By practicing this subtle technique to grow your alter-ego you are slowly but surely learning and developing who you really are deep down.
Today? I donât even think about my âalter egoâ anymore because itâs who I am.
Keep in mind Iâve been on this journey for the last 6 years and have practiced what I preach endlessly. But seriously, I donât even think about this concept anymore because itâs ingrained into the fabric of who I am.
This means, this is a skill you only really have to work on for a couple of years, and eventually it will act as a stepping stone for you to recover from anxiety and into you.
Now Itâs Your Turn
Feel free to take my concept of Humans 2.0 and use it for your own.
At the end of the day, this must be a psychological framework unique to you that makes you truly pause, reflect and care about how important choosing new behaviors, patterns and habits are for your future self.
PS. Join my anxiety coaching group over the course of 9 weeks. Spots are limited and early bird pricing ends next week: https://www.markmetry.com/group-coaching
OR
đŹ I am opening my calendar right now to work with 1 more person 1-on-1 on an ongoing basis to manage anxiety and heal your mind more effectively.
Interested? Schedule a free call with me to see if itâs right for you or not :)
PS. If you want to take the self-paced individual program, check out the details here: www.markmetry.com/program