“Just do it”
“Just be confident”
“Just talk to them”
“Just be yourself”
By far the biggest mistake people make is going 1 v 1 against social anxiety without any tools or reinforcements other than just forcing it with the phrases above.
When I was in college, I was in the same situation…
I would try to walk up to someone sitting alone in the cafeteria or library and force myself to try and talk to them. Almost every single time I would muster up the courage… I felt a part of my brain, my nervous system would hold me back no matter what I tried to do.
No matter what I did I couldn’t be myself in front of someone else. I had mostly avoided these feelings my whole life by staying small, shy, and quiet, but no more. I had gotten sick and tired of being sick and tired.
But now, I had finally taken a shot to get out of my comfort zone but I still failed :/
This led me down the thought pattern of no matter what I do I’m screwed.
No matter how much effort I put in, there’s nothing I can do to change how I act and my lack of confidence and I’m going to be stuck like this forever!
Ladies and gentlemen, this mindset and worldview creates the exact environment needed for depression, hopelessness, social isolation, and more :(
It wasn’t until I found myself obese and facing physical health issues where I accidentally discovered the power of nutritional psychiatry and neuroscience.
I learned being socially anxious for 10 years isn’t all about your mindset and doesn’t just impact your mind. Anxiety changes your brain. Once your brain has been changed, it’s very hard to use only your mind to reverse the problem.
I started focusing and learning about brain health.
I discovered how to restore, re-vitalize my neurotransmitters, brain cells, metabolism, and neurons which made it 1,000% easier and manageable to talk to other people.
What I learned is you must take the professional athlete approach…
Imagine if Lebron James showed up to the finals game without practicing. Imagine if any other professional athlete expected to win a game without spending every single other day before in the gym, in the kitchen, training the body and mind.
You don’t defeat social anxiety by showing up to an event or social setting and trying to be more confident or act differently. You defeat social anxiety by training your mind in every other moment before the social event like an athlete working year-round.
Now, you might be saying to yourself, I’m not Lebron. I’m just Vanessa or George or John, and I don’t want to be a professional athlete. No problem!
You don’t have to make this your life mission every single day…
But, find your own set of tools & habits that work for you. Because here’s the thing…
The more you manage social anxiety, the easier life will get.
Today, I run a top 100 podcast, advise startups & companies, write almost every day, sit on the board of a couple of non-profits, coach people 1 on 1 and in-groups, speak publically to schools and organizations, and seriously do so many things!
My life seemed so much harder and busier and more complicated when I was doing none of these things but faced social anxiety every day many years ago.
Sometimes when life seems so brutal and tiring and exhausting…It’s a sign from life that you deserve better and there is a way to be sick and tired of being sick and tired and demanding more for yourself.
PS. This is exactly why I started a health group where each week over the course of 2 months we will address each layer and foundation of anxiety and how to manage it and find root cause solutions to rewire and restore.
Final Call! Only 2 spots left!
Learn More: www.markmetry.com/group-coaching
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