“But, like how did you start, you know?”
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Some ask this question, because they see other people’s success like mine for example today and can’t fathom how I used to be just like them when I only had social anxiety.
Others, because they want success of their own and want to learn how I started so maybe one day they will also start their transformation journey.
Your journey will differ depending on the kind of person you are and your past and other factors that make us human. Nobody’s journey will reflect yours identically.
You can borrow concepts and try your best to copy and attempt to do things but that will only bring you so far. That’s why this is so hard.
Nobody in life can give you a “Hey, here’s a guide to Finding {Your Name} Best Life Adventure Story in 24 Hours” If that existed (which a lot of terrible marketers think so) that would be a massive rip off and scam.
I want to take you down my journey and then break it down into fundamentals and critical lessons I had to learn to make what my life is today happen, and hopefully, you can take some of these universal elements and apply them to your life and make stuff happen too.
1. Pain Is the Pressure Cooker
Growing up, I had a tremendous issue with experiencing life itself. Looking back at past events, issues like poverty, mental & physical health issues, racism, built within me a certain sense of anxiety.
I felt like I had a deep psychological issue with experiencing life itself. My psyche felt like it was always fighting, resisting what I experienced before my eyes in a way that I didn’t understand when I was in the middle of it.
The reason why I was able to get up, change my behavior, and blow up my life in 2015 was that there was much-unaddressed pain bubbling deep down that was starting to reveal itself later in hidden ways. I realized that if I didn’t address this right now it will only get worse, as I had countless examples of people seen around me who struggled with addiction, obesity, poor mental health, poverty and I knew I didn’t want any part of that.
In other words, I got so sick and tired of being sick and tired I said screw this.
So sick and tired of constantly being locked into my mind, not being able to express who I am, struggling with my emotions of deep sadness, disappointment, regret, anxiety on a moment-to-moment basis.
I also realized that I had so much potential on the inside of me. So much God-given potential that I had seen in mini-moments throughout my life of me being my true self. To not use that pain is a deep saddening existential fact that chips away at your soul daily.
2. Magic Moments Parting the Clouds Don’t Exist
Throughout my life, I was waiting for my white knight to bust through the door and change my life, just like a Disney Princess movie. What I learned is that when you give power to a perceived authority figure like a famous person, parents, teachers, etc.
You devalue yourself and do not see yourself as a person of value. How could an invaluable person such as yourself possibly do anything to change their lives?
There was no point on my journey, neither the hundreds of people I’ve interviewed a moment where the clouds in the sky parted and they were hit with a lightning bolt of inspiration.
It’s all on you, day by day, moment by moment.
Personally, for me, pivotal moments came every few months in my life between 2016 and 2017. I’m not going to cover each one but one that stood out to me, in particular, was towards the end of 2016. I was just recovering from obesity and lost all the weight I had gained previously and was trying my best to live a healthy life. But, I wasn’t 100% all-in, at this point, I was still flirting with my self-development journey and was treating it like a hobby.
I had this moment when I took a nap in the middle of the day and woke up with a feeling of stuckness & ambiguity and realized I was still lacking initiative in my life. A moment where I was still expecting other people to come to save and help me change my life. I got up in a second, put my shoes on, and began walking to Target. I bought a whiteboard to help envision my goals and a journal to architect and document my thoughts & ideas.
3. Fear Is Your Compass
There is no map in life. There is just a compass and it’s called fear.
Growing up I had terrible social anxiety. I could never talk to anybody I didn’t know and any days where I had to present for school I would either not show up or I’d spend 30 minutes in the bathroom first and then go up and whisper words I had written down on a piece of paper and walk away awkwardly.
Do you know what I do now?
I’m literally a speaker. I just gave my first TEDx talk a few months and get hired by some of the top companies & conferences in the world to speak my thoughts and life’s work to deploy a meaningful change at the organization.
Coincidence ? I think not.
“Fear is a compass that points you in the direction of personal growth.”
- Mastin Kipp
Of course, there are exceptions but if you are terrified of something it means you should do it. Speaking no longer terrifies me but writing a book and then going on a speaking tour about that and showing my hard work to the entire world in a package is terrifying.
Beginning to reframe Fear in the form of a question is pivotal to opening up your mind. Logical information will never be received by the brain if it is closed. You begin to loosen up your mind by reframing the box it exists in by asking a reorienting question.
Example: I’m about to go on stage and feel my heartbeat fasten and my thoughts race. Instead of saying to myself oh wow I’m nervous. What if I mess up? Instead, ask yourself is perhaps my brain gearing me up and producing more oxygen for me to crush it on stage?
You need to chase and hunt down your biggest fear.
Or else the reality is it will hunt you down.
4. Dig Your Well Before You’re Thirsty
Practicing meditation in the middle of a social anxiety panic attack may not help you.
Eating healthy food in the middle of crying and being depressed may not help you.
However, eating healthy and practicing meditation regularly even when things are going fine, may help train you to not experience social anxiety and depression on a regular basis.
80% of life is what you do before during preparation. 20% is during the situation.
If you want better results now, stop judging yourself if you’re doing it right and not, and just do the actions and activities for 30 months and then reevaluate.
🔥Learn about my Screw Being Shy 45 Day Step by Step Affordable Program to Stop Shyness, Decrease Social Anxiety, & Rewire your Mind: https://bit.ly/3jM7ZBc 🔥
Conclusion
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