Your Brain Is Your Best Friend or Worst Enemy
Realize this, and respect your brain, not secretly resent it.
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Don't resent how your brain functions, respect how your brain works.
When I first started my journey and became consciously aware I had social anxiety.
It was an interesting turning point..
At last, I had finally found “the problem” that I could point at as the culprit haunting me and controlling my behavior for so many years. On the other hand, I knew my brain was the problem, so I could either resent and curse at it and say why are you like this?
Or, understand that my brain just needed a bit of help, and we could join forces as a team and become more powerful together. Rather, than fighting my own brain, which I believe is what most people are unknowingly doing today.
You see in my realization, I was becoming aware that you are not your brain.
However, your brain is the foundation and controller of your mind.
We are given a brain, and we unconsciously craft and cultivate a mind, which then works together in a feedback loop, similar to hardware and software on a computer.
They build off each other, good or bad. Healthy or harmful. Positive or toxic.
I have a friend of mine who’s dyslexic. She struggled in school her whole life due to it and always felt like there was something wrong. Eventually, she was diagnosed with dyslexia and was told she would never be like the “normal kids” again. As a result, this heavily impacted her mood, vision, and sense of potential and where she could go and be in her life.
It wasn’t until she read a book that began to show her the positives of living a life with dyslexia. Under one of the chapters, she discovered how she could actually use her different brain as an advantage and be a different thinker and processor than everyone else.
Sure, reading wasn’t a strong suit. But, she discovered she was an amazing vocal and empathetic communicator capable of connecting with people like a superpower compared to others.
Now, for someone who has suffered all their life from the brain, this point may seem tone-deaf or even demeaning or insulting. I promise you, it’s not. If it is, I’m sorry.
When it came to me and my social anxiety, here were some of the biggest shifts, from weakness to superpower:
I was a hardcore introvert who socially isolated himself —> understanding it’s a superpower because if I can spend time by myself no problem, I can use that time to do self-care habits only I could do when alone, like meditation and journaling.
I was nervous to speak up in social situations —> understanding my mind is different than others, and therefore has different world views and things I could say in a social situation that makes me unique compared to others.
I was bullied, discriminated against, and told to stay silent —> I lived my life like this for so long that today when I do speak up, my brain gives me a dopaminergic effect of pleasure and connection as a sign to keep going and continue being courageous.
I would constantly imagine or replay social situations, before and after they would happen, and overthink —> This led me to realize I am an intellectual thinker, tinkerer, writer, and I must be working on something meaningful or else my brain will revert to overthinking.
I was always in the minority, whether that was my race, religion, belief system, brian type, etc —> Understanding everywhere I go, it doesn’t matter if I’m doing something everyone else isn’t doing, I will lead the path first, even if it’s scary because that opens up doors for other people in the future.
How to Shift from Worst Enemy to Best Friend
Take care of your brain. Imagine you have an amazing pet dog that loves you. Now imagine if you made him stay up all night, locked him inside without walks, and fed him a steady stream of processed junk food? We do this to our brains all the time, spend time caring for our brain’s health.
Build practices that shift the dialogue. The most powerful practices for this are meditation, journaling, writing down your thoughts, expressing gratitude.
Learn more about people’s acceptance stories. The more stories you read, the more your brain understands potential paths you didn’t know you could take.
Do It When Nobody’s Watching. So much of our behavior and motivations for life are built in our psychology through our societal perspective. You can’t avoid this, but you can question your motives. Are you doing it for the right reason?
Do It With a Friend. Do you have a friend who likes learning about this stuff like you? Try to have conversations anchored around these ideas and view them as goals you can collaborate on for long periods of time.
Conclusion
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PS. I am running a workshop, on how to manage social anxiety, shyness, and introversion for a limited time here this Thursday!
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